The Book of Joe

Two things you may not know about Ronda and Joe…

1. Joe and Ronda broke up for several months before their marriage.

2. Joe and Ronda lost a baby in 2017.

I don’t talk about either of those things much, because even though they happened years ago, each event is still a greenish blue bruise that is slightly tender to touch. Yet, they are part of the love story that is Joe and Ronda. And what is a good love story without a moment where the reader thinks the couple might not make it after all, or a few sad, tear-stained pages?

Mostly, I give you those two facts about our relationship because they stand out as moments that were NOT in the plan. At least, they were not in MY plan. I couldn’t see it at the time, but they were part of God’s plan.

This week, Joe writes about trusting God’s plans before your own.

He wrote:

Trusting in God

This morning I want to talk to you about trusting in God’s plans for our lives.

How often do we not trust our Heavenly Father? Scripture notes many examples of people who didn’t trust in Him- Jonah, Moses, Peter, etc. But He still looked after them, and He made a way to fulfill His plan despite their lack of faith.

We are created by the one who knows us and loves us the most. He wants our devotion, our love, and mostly our trust.

I’ll be the first to admit that there are times when the will of God seems to be completely contrary to what I think I should be doing. Sometimes I just cannot understand His plans. But it is in those times that we need to look past what we think or what we want to do and simply trust Him. Simply trust HIS plan.

Isaiah 55:9 tells us that His ways are higher than our ways and that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. If we trust Him, we can be assured that His plan is just like Him—perfect.

Jeremiah 29:11 states: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster to give you future and a hope’’.

Today, I encourage you to do something that is not always easy to do. I encourage you lay down your plans. Lay your plans down at the feet of Jesus and seek the perfect plan He has for you.

I leave you, this morning with Psalm 28:6-8: “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with song I praise Him.”

-JMP

The summer that Joe and I spent apart, God got my attention. He had tried for years before, but as a pretty stubborn “fixer”, I thought I could do things my way, by my plan. I found myself face down on my floor, crying out to the Lord for help. And He helped me. I had always believed in God, but it was then that I learned to BELIEVE God (there is such a difference). I learned to trust His ways, even when the world told me to give up. I also learned that it was ok to love Joe fiercely (which I did and I still do), but I must love God even more. I loved on God so hard that summer and He loved on me in return. When Joe and I mended our fences, we were both changed…changed in ways that made our lives together so full and rich…and so much better than anything I had imagined in my own plan.

Then came baby…and if ever something has NOT been in the plan! We had a SENIOR in high school, an 8th grader and a 7th grader. I was too old (advanced maternal age was the term used by my doctor)! We had our future already planned! But God…

After a few days of absolute shock, we both found ourselves madly in love with the idea that we might raise a baby together. It was a dream neither of us thought could be a reality for us…yet here we were. The sweetness and tenderness in Joe’s eyes when we talked about our baby is something I will forever hold close to my heart. Those were precious days!

Sadly, our dream was not meant to be. Our baby went to be with Jesus at the start of my second trimester. And once again, I struggled with God’s plan. Why would He give us this unexpected gift just to take it away? Why would He allow us to hurt this way?

The “Why’s” of my heart now that Joe is gone are even bigger…more difficult to grasp. Lysa TerKeurst gives the most plausible answer I have found in her book It’s Not Supposed to be This Way when she writes from God’s perspective, “Why did the destruction and devastation march into your life? You’ll never know those answers. But trust me-it wouldn’t make anything better if you did have those answers. I’ve not kept those answers from you in a cruel exercise of My power. I’ve kept them because only I can bear the weight of them.”

So, here I am, making the decision every single day to trust in the Lord and the plan He has for me. Looking back, I see how God used that break up years ago to prepare me for this season. The Lord held me so tightly in the palm of His hand that summer, just as He holds me now. Just as He holds you. During the summer of our baby, God gave me a glimpse of the Joe I never thought I would be allowed to see–A Joe who held his hand on my belly and looked at me with the sweetness and wonder of a daddy-to-be.

None of those things were in my plan. Losing Joe was most certainly not in my plan. But they were part of His plan. When I consider those gifts–a stronger relationship with God, the miracle of a baby, and the wonderful life I shared with my sweet Joe–I believe with all of my heart that God’s plan for me is good.

His plan for you is good. I promise you that. No matter where you are, no matter what you are facing, sweet friend, know this. The palm of God’s hand is mighty, safe and strong. He will carry you every minute. I know this because He is carrying me. Trust Him. Trust His plan. He is good. All the time.

Words of Wisdom from The Book of Joe

Flounce: verb. A term used by Joe to describe Ronda’s tendency to react an emotionally intense manner (typically resulting in an apology from her once she calmed down)

Unaffected: adj.: A term used by Ronda to describe Joe’s typical reaction to above mentioned flouncing (which only increased the tendency to flounce)

News Flash! I may or may not be a bit high strung. I feel all the feelings in a big way. Sometimes it serves me well. Other times, well…let’s just say I apologize a lot.

Exhibit A:

This week, Joe’s lesson is about emotions. He was as good as anyone I have ever known at keeping his emotions in check. Could it have been that he was writing to me at this time last year? I did look back through our text messages to see, but I truly can’t say for sure. 🙂

However, he was DEFINITELY writing to me this week. It’s been a little bit of a roller coaster in Ronda Land.

He wrote:

Not Everything You Feel is Right

How many of us let our emotions get the best of us? I’ve heard it before that “I was so mad” or “That upset me so much that I…” Often, when our emotions get the better of us, we do or say things we may regret…or we do things we maybe would have done a little differently if we’d had better control of ourselves.

Romans 8:6-8: “The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.”

I’d like to share with you a few important reasons from God’s word on why we need to learn to deal with how we feel.

1. Our emotions may not be reliable. That initial gut feeling may not be right. We are sinful by nature and our emotions can lead us into something blindly. We cannot depend on how we feel in the moment for the right answer.

Proverbs 14: 12: ” Not everything you feel will lead you in the right direction”.

At this point, Joe must have stepped away from his notebook. I took full advantage and added the note “…ask your wife…her answer is always right”. 🙂 I just wanted to you understand what poor Joe was dealing with on a daily basis. Let us continue…

2. We should learn to control our emotions so that we won’t be taken advantage of. I have always heard that if we don’t control our emotions, they will control us. Negative emotions can be the devil’s favorite food. He will use fear, resentment, and worry to cause trouble in your life. 1 Peter 5:8 says to “be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil prowls like a roaring lion for someone to devour.

3. We should manage our emotions to please God. God cannot rule your life if you let your emotions rule it. If we make decisions based on how we feel, then we have made feelings our god. We have replaced God.

4. We need to manage emotions because we want to succeed. How many people have you heard of who ruined their career or reputation because of something done in anger? Or maybe you know of someone who missed an opportunity because of a lack of self control. Proverbs 5:23 says that “he shall die without instruction and in the greatest of his folly he shall go astray.” When we choose to follow Jesus, that includes giving Him our emotions. He wants all of us. He wants to be the Lord of how we feel, not just what we think and do. He wants us to make our decisions based on His love, His Word and our faith in Him.

So, as we go out into the world this week, and are faced with situations that test our emotions, let us try our best to pause and breathe in the love and power of Jesus before we give in to our emotions. Instead of how we “feel”, let’s trust in Jesus to “fill” us with what we need to face each day.

-JMP

I typically do not read the lesson for the week ahead of time. I wait until the weekend, so that my own writing is a fresh response to what Joe’s lesson means to me at that particular time. Honestly, I wish I had read his words early just this once. As I look back, I see that my emotions pretty much led me around like a puppy on a leash all week long.

My sweet 94 year old grandmother passed away this week. I replaced FIVE tires on two vehicles. I moved my oldest child into a college apartment. I am juggling my teaching positions at the high school, the college, trying to help with Joe’s business, manage the estate, etc. It’s a lot. Ya’ll, I am tired.

If you want to see me wear my emotions on the outside of my body, just let me get really tired or really hungry. If I happen to be tired and hungry at the same time, well…head for the hills is all I can say.

I was knocking it out of the park on “feeling”. What I was striking out with was the “filling”. Now, I start every single day with about an hour of time with my Jesus, and that is truly a sacred part of my daily routine. However, if I do not allow Him to fill me during the hours that follow, I am not putting myself in a position to enjoy His peace when troubles come (as they always will).

Sweet friends, we are all going to flounce. It’s who we are, and that is ok. As God’s children we are perfectly imperfect. But when we allow those feelings to rule us, to overcome us, not only are we behaving in a manner that is displeasing to Him, we are missing out on one of God’s greatest gifts–the gift of peace and joy in our hearts, regardless of our circumstance.

Joe didn’t know it, but in the text message pictured above, he was giving such truth to the message of this week’s lesson. Give all the feelings to God. Even the ugly ones. And when you flounce, tell Him you are sorry. My friend, you will find you are already forgiven.

-Words of Wisdom from The Book of Joe

When I saw the title of this week’s lesson, I had to laugh. I mean…seriously, Joe?? If you only knew of Joe as the (very handsome) gentleman working at Rouse Funeral Home, you might perceive him as reserved, soft spoken, sweet, but rather serious. While he was all of those things, he also had a super quick wit and an awesome (dry) sense of humor. There is no doubt in my mind that he let out a Heavenly chuckle while waiting for me to find that this week we would discuss obituaries.

Speaking of obits, I hope you had the opportunity to read Joe’s. It was beautifully written by Lynn Taylor and Melissa Ball-Whitfield of Rouse FH, and in my opinion, captured the essence of my sweet husband perfectly. I have read it at least a thousand times. Here’s the link in case you’d like to read it again, too. Joe Price Obituary

As beautiful as Joe’s obituary reads, his lesson this week is about what should read even more beautifully as a testimony of your walk with Jesus–your daily life.

He wrote:

Living Like a Christian: What Will Your Obit Say?

How many of you read the obituaries? Personally, I read them almost every day. Old habits die hard, I guess.

In a lot (but not all) of them, you can learn a whole lot about a person’s life from their obituary. You can learn about someone’s family life, career, friends, service to community, hobbies, and sometimes you can even determine if they were a Christian. However, if the obituary doesn’t say whether or not the person is a Christian, and you don’t know them personally, then who really knows? What I’d like to talk about this morning is the best way to show people whether or not we follow the Lord–Living Like a Christian.

1 John 2: 6 states: “Whosoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did.”

Back in October, I talked about being Christlike-meek and humble. Today, I want to talk about how Jesus met the needs of the world around him.

Jesus healed the sick, cleansed the diseased, delivered people from bondage, opened blind eyes and deaf ears. He made the mute speak and the crippled walk. He multiplied food to feed the hungry. Jesus even raised the dead.

Now, I am not telling you this morning that any of us can go around and heal a sick person or take a loaf of bread and a fish and feed five thousand. What I am telling you is that we don’t have to do “big” things like that to make an impact on the people around us. There are so many around us who suffer and hurt. We can care for the less fortunate and sick, we can feed the hungry, we can offer a shoulder to lean on or a shoulder to cry on. We can be the hands and feet of Jesus as we try to meet their needs. We can show people every single day the love of Jesus Christ.

Your obituary might say you created a family, a nice home, a successful business and more. Will it say you loved Jesus? Will it say you lived for the Lord? More important than what your obituary says about your Christian walk, what will your life say about how you lived for Jesus? Will it say you were His hands and feet?

I’ll leave you with John 20:21: “…as my Father hath sent me, I am sending you.”

What will your obit say?

-JMP

………………………………………………………

I’ve actually thought a lot about what I thought my obituary might have said and how it will read much differently in light of recent events. It would be pretty easy for me to fall into a black pit of despair over what it “should” say, but will not. It won’t say that I was married to Joe for many years. It won’t say that our grandchildren are the apples of our eyes. It won’t say that, in retirement, we enjoyed trips to the beach or mountains, but enjoyed our rocking chairs on the front porch of the barn most of all. It won’t say that we grew old together, and honestly, that breaks my heart every single day.

Yes, I am still so broken hearted. But, I love Joe and I love Jesus and I want more than anything to honor them both. I hope that one day, by the grace and mercy of our Lord, my obit might read:

She chose joy, even in tragedy. She longed to have him here again, but she knew he was made whole in the arms of Jesus, so how could she possibly want less for him than that? She used her brokenness to help others. She used the words in Joe’s black leather notebook to honor his memory and to point others toward the love of Jesus. She loved on people as hard as she could. She put one foot in front of the other each day (even when she thought she could not), resolving to live her life in such a way that she would one day look into those beautiful blue eyes again…on the other side of Eternity. She honored Joe and she honored Jesus each and every day.

My sweet friend, if you are reading this, then the ink is not yet dry on the story of your life. Maybe you are mid-sentence, on one side of a comma. Maybe you feel like you are hanging on a big red question mark. Maybe the lines have all been scribbled through and you don’t know what to write next. It doesn’t matter where you are. You can write the next sentence, the next page, the next chapter in a way that honors Jesus. My friend, even when it hurts to write, and your tears spill onto the page, look to Jesus. He will wipe the tears from the page. He will hold the pen and help you write again.

Not one of us knows when God will put a period at the end of the sentence. Not one of us knows when the story of how we live as a Christian will change from present tense to past.

What will your obituary say?

…Words of wisdom from The Book of Joe

I married an old man.

Joe Price was an old soul all of his life. He had “old” values and beliefs, loved old music, and loved old things–old trucks, old barns, old clothes (I challenge you to find a shirt he really loved that was not tattered, mended, threadbare, etc). He often joked that his love for old things extended even to me, as I was MUCH older than he!

On Friday, I came across a birthday card Joe gave me a year or so ago. Inside, he wrote: “I am looking forward to growing old with you. I’ll bet we will have a big time! But remember, you’ll always be older than me!”

In full disclosure, reading those words knocked my feet out from under me. In this roller coaster of emotions that has become my life, I found myself angry and heartbroken. So caught up in the word “old”, I spiraled down the rabbit hole of not getting to grow old with Joe, and how cruel it seemed that as much as Joe encompassed being an old soul, he would never actually get to be one.

Now, don’t park on these sentiments and get all worried about me. It was a moment. I felt the feelings and moved forward. I simply needed you to frame this week’s page from Joe’s leather notebook in the perspective of someone who found herself lost and longing for that which is old.

Ironically, his first lesson last year was not about the old; it was about the new.

January 5, 2020

Old and New

Joe wrote his last lesson on March 15, 2020. He delivered it to me on Christmas Eve. As Sunday School Superintendent, Joe delivered a brief “mini lesson” to the church congregation before we dismissed to go to our classes each week. He wrote each lesson in a beautiful leather notebook with a beautiful Cross pen, gifted to him by his wonderful wife{wink}.

March 15 2020 was the last time we had “regular” Sunday School at Seven Springs Baptist Church. The notebook was left on a dresser in our home office, untouched until Christmas Eve 2020…19 days after Joe’s death.

I attempted to wrap gifts in the office that day, but my heart just wasn’t in it. Instead, I wandered from corner to corner of this room filled with Joe’s prized possessions, touching things…trying to find some peace or solace in a world filled with his things, but not with him. The black leather notebook was wedged underneath several other books. I passed it several times before I tugged it from its spot. I opened it backwards, so the first page I saw was the last page he wrote. It was dated March 15 2020, which in my memory stands out as one of the last “normal” days this world knew, before masks and distancing and fear knocked on our doors as an uninvited guest. I am sure I thought to myself during the months that followed that things couldn’t get much worse. On December 5, 2020, I learned that things could, indeed, get much worse.

I honestly don’t remember Joe delivering this message to our congregation in March. Maybe I was already in my classroom. Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention. Maybe God knew in March that I would need this lesson more on December 24. I sat down in his leather recliner and read these words, knowing that somehow, my sweet Joe was speaking directly to me. He wrote:

March 15 2020

A SEASON FOR EVERYTHING

I really enjoy fall and winter. Each year I look forward to the cooler temperatures after our hot and humid Eastern North Carolina summer. I look forward to hunting season, Thanksgiving and Christmas. But, by the time we get through the cold, short days of January and February, I’ll admit that I am ready to see some signs of spring.

Winter helps to prepare the ground for the next season. Without each season playing its part, our environment here on earth would surely collapse.

Sometimes, as Christians, we may think that if we follow God’s commands and do like we are supposed to, we won’t (or we shouldn’t have to) endure hardships or hurt. However, life, like nature, moves in seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3 states that “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven. A time to be born. A time to die. A time to plant. A time to pluck what is planted. A time to kill. A time to heal. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance.”

We are part of a sinful world, and we ourselves are not without sin. Sometimes being part of that world means that we have to go through our own painful experiences or seasons.

Yet, God will take our hard times and trials and use them for good and for His glory. He will take our season of suffering and use it to open our eyes to the hard times others are going through. He will use seasons of death to remind us of the beauty of life. He will use our season of sorrow to draw us ever closer to Him.

Whatever season of life you find yourself in right now, I want you to remember that God uses everything for the good of those who love Him.

Take some time to examine the seasons of your life. Remember how God spoke to you and as you go out into the world this week, look for others who need your encouragement.

I’ll leave you with Ecclesiastes 3:11: “He hath made everything beautiful in His time”.

-JMP

Although I’d give most anything to hear that sweet southern drawl again, I still find peace as I read his words. On every page, Joe’s words direct us toward God’s word. So, I share this with you because Joe asked me to look for others who need encouragement. This season of my life is hard…but Joe reminded me that I have never been through a season that God was not holding me. He holds you, too. Right this very moment, you and I are cradled safely in the palm of God’s hand. We may be broken, but may we always remember that He hath made everything beautiful in His time.

…Words of Wisdom from the Book of Joe